Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year, and this year was especially amazing because I got to spend it with Tommy <3 I’m so lucky to have such a fantastic family and brilliant boyfriend to enjoy the festive season with, and this year was no exception.

The day started when I woke up at 6:45am and, not able to get back to sleep, joined my sister in my parents’ room and opened our stockings. Stockings are always exciting because they are our first venture into the happiness of the day. They’re usually full of little, happiness-bringing things like chocolate and in my case, make-up, pens and toiletries.

Once all the stockings were opened, my dad went downstairs and called up the ever familiar “He’s been!” and we all piled downstairs in our Christmas pyjamas to sit around the tree and start opening our presents. It's exciting not only to receive all the beautiful things our loved ones give us, but also to watch as people open the things that we give them. My gifts included lots of books, stationery, cosy clothes and hot chocolate. I also received a pair of boots that I've wanted for a long time, and a camera so I can start taking beautiful photos for this blog!

After getting dressed, my dad and I drove out to town to pick Tommy up and then opened the presents we’d got each other. Tommy got me a Waterstones gift card – he knows me very well! I already know one of the books I’m going to buy with it, and you can probably expect a post about it in the near future.

My grandparents soon arrived and a delicious Christmas dinner made by my mum was served. Honestly, there is nothing I love more than Christmas dinner. Everything about it is perfect. Even the sprouts make my mouth water.

Crackers were pulled and we were delighted to find frogs inside which we quickly got to work hopping across the table. My granddad (sporting a fabulous Christmas hat) won the day when he scored a hole-in-one by flipping the frog straight into my nanna’s bowl of Christmas pudding.

Once we’d all recovered a bit from our ginormous meal, we spent the rest of the day playing games, all in the effort to win ‘top prizes’, which ended up being an assortment of spectacular items including Kinder eggs, soap and gummy pizza. We also had a video chat with my sister and niece.

After a shower and when everyone had gone to bed, Tommy and I drank some delicious Whittard’s hot chocolate (my favourite; a Christmas gift from my parents) before falling asleep, ready for Boxing Day.

This Christmas has been an amazing and special one, and there's still so much more to look forward to before the year is out. Only 363 days to go until the next one!

Love from Beth xx

Break to Bournemouth

November has been an interesting month. It started cold and got colder. I’ve been swamped with uni work, Trump became president, it was my sister’s 17^th and my 20^th birthdays, and Tommy went away to Bali for two weeks. I’ve also been struggling through a bout of depression, which I always tend to get around this time of year. So, I was in a desperate need of a break.

Last Friday, on the 25^th, Tommy came back from Bali so I jumped on a train to meet him in Bournemouth. I’m not going to lie here; I was terrified. I get anxious on trains anyway, even when I just have to get one that goes directly there, so when it turned out that I had to get not one, not two, but three trains to get both to and from Bournemouth, I wanted to cry. Nevertheless, I got up at 5am and got a bus to the station with my heart racing. Fortunately, although it was stressful at times with a train blocking one of the lines and delays on another, I got there on time and in one piece.

It was so good to see Tommy again. This was the longest we’d been apart and the least we’d been able to talk since we met, and it was hard. We’ve been officially together for just over three months now and it’s amazing how much a person can mean to you in that short amount of time. Tommy means the world to me.

Once we’d caught up, Tommy then took me to meet his dad, who is so lovely. The three of us then went on a walk around Bournemouth, which included going for lunch and visiting Mary Shelley’s grave. Afterwards, Tommy and I checked into our hotel and promptly both fell asleep. That evening, once we’d woke up from our naps and shook off the grogginess, we went out for cocktails. Oh my god, those Pina Coladas were amazing!

The next morning, Tommy took me out for breakfast. We went for a walk by the sea and then indulged in lots of bacon-and-eggs goodness. After another walk along the beach back to our hotel, which involved lots of talking about tongue twisters (she sells sea shells on the sea shore), we decided to go swimming in the hotel’s pool. Because of a childhood of traumatic swimming lessons in which I was haunted by a lack of body confidence, I never learned to swim, so Tommy taught me. I loved it! Now I want to swim all the time!

Later, we visited Tommy’s friend’s house and went for a meal with them, which was a lot of fun. We were so tired by the end of the night that we crashed out as soon as we got back to the hotel.

The next morning, Tommy bought us drinks and breakfast and we checked out of the hotel at 10am, still half asleep. We then met up with his dad and went for another lovely walk around beautiful Bournemouth, which involved a fun game of mini golf (I didn’t cheat, I swear!). Sadly, the time came when we all had to go our separate ways and head home. Tommy got his coach back to the midlands and I got my train back to uni.

I hate saying goodbye to Tommy. Whenever one of us gets on a train or bus and leaves the other behind, it’s always hard. We want to spend all our time together, but university calls and here I am again, desperately trying to meet my deadlines.

I had such an amazing, lovely time in Bournemouth. I highly recommend it as a seaside place to visit in the UK. Even now in winter, it’s beautiful, with their gorgeous Christmas market full of the mouth-watering smells of sausages cooking and festive fun like ice-skating. I can’t wait to go back again in the new year.

Self-Care Ideas

Everyone gets stressed. Life is stressful. We have so many plans, projects, responsibilities and things to do that it can sometimes get overwhelming. In fact, there are so many things we feel like we need to do that they often take over our lives and we forget the thing that matters most: ourselves.

This is why you need to indulge in yourself every now and then. Self-care is so important for your health and wellbeing, yet it often goes ignored for the ‘bigger’ things.

Not only is self-care important for your mental health, it can also help you achieve your bigger goals. By looking after yourself, you will prepare yourself mentally and physically to take on your to-do list, and as it leaves you feeling refreshed, you will be much more likely to complete your everything that you set out to do.

Let’s take a look at some ways in which you can indulge yourself in some self-care.

List Things

There is something very therapeutic about writing things down. The act of moving things from your mind to paper to then save for later or screw up and throw away, is very calming. You could do this by keeping a diary so that you have somewhere to pour your feelings whenever they get too much, or by simply writing lists of things that you are thinking about. You could list things you need to do, things that are on your mind, things you want to focus on, people you want to talk to, ideas, random thoughts that pop into your head – anything. Sometimes our minds just need a good clear out, and writing things down is one way of doing that.

I keep a bullet journal that I work on every day. Not only does it help me focus my goals and plans for both the near and distant future, it allows me to declutter my mind and gives me a chance to exercise my creativity.

Creativity

Whether you are a creative person or not, taking a little time out of your day to do something creative will help you to no end. Creativity broadens your mind. My favourite thing to do is write stories, but I also enjoy making jewellery, art, baking, cooking, and photography. Finding a creative hobby will help you to both express yourself and relax.

Music

Sometimes when my mind is particularly noisy, it helps to simply put on a pair of headphones and turn up the music so loud that I can’t hear myself. Music is brilliant because it’s so diverse. If you need some positive energy, put on some feel-good music and dance your heart out. If you need to release some energy, throw on a ballad and sing until your lungs are sore. If you need to relax and unwind, slip on a gentle song or a peaceful playlist and ease yourself into a sense of rest.

I have so many playlists on Spotify, each for a different sort of feeling.

Exercise

Photo of my sister doing yoga at Whitby (@Pandaamber14)

I am really not an exercise person but even I know how good you can feel when you take the time to focus on your body every now and then.

I’ve been doing yoga on and off for several years now, but I’ve recently picked it back up again and I have completely fallen in love with it. I got inspired to start again when I stumbled upon some amazingly skilled yogis on Instagram. Of course, you don’t have to be anywhere near their level of ability to reap the benefits of yoga. It stretches out all of your muscles and focuses your mind, and whenever you finish a yoga session, you will always be left feeling refreshed and ready to take on whatever lies ahead of you.

I also enjoy going for walks around nice places when the weather’s good. Sometimes I even go running – not that I run very far. Even so, every time I return home from a run, I feel a huge sense of accomplishment and I feel energised and ready to take on the day. I like to do exercise straight after I wake up so that I don’t have any time to back out of it, and then it’s done and out of the way for the day. It might seem like a lot of effort before you do it, but trust me; when you finish a good workout, you will feel amazing.

Meditation

Meditation might not be everyone’s cup of tea. It wasn’t mine for a long time, but I’d read a lot about its benefits and rewards on the internet and I was curious. Then when I learned my boyfriend practises meditation, I decided to look into it and ended up getting the Headspace app on my phone. Headspace offers guided meditation and so far, I absolutely love it!

On the outside, sitting and thinking about nothing might seem like a waste of time but I’ve found that taking ten minutes out of my day to just breathe works some kind of magic. Sometimes I wake up with my mind whirling and all it takes is ten minutes of meditation to calm and refresh me. It’s a great way to start the day, and it’s a great way to end it too. If you ever find yourself struggling to fall asleep, a little bit of meditation can easily remedy the situation.

Meditation declutters your mind and helps you to focus on your body and soul, without all of the worries and stresses of life in your way. I highly recommend it.

Quiet Time

Even if you don’t want to give meditation a go, a little bit of peace and quiet goes a really long way. Turn off the TV and listen to the quiet that fills the room instead. Brew yourself a cup of tea and curl up with a good book. Sit outside in your garden and soak up the sun. Listen to the natural world around you and take it all in. Maybe go for a walk.

Just taking this little bit of time to yourself, to sit and think, will make you feel wonderful.

Other Self-Care Ideas

In case none of the above tickled your fancy, here is a list of self-care ideas for you to indulge in.

• Eat healthily – the way you eat can hugely impact how you feel.
• Eat unhealthily – tuck into your favourite bar of chocolate or cupcake for a boost of pure joy.
• Go for a walk somewhere new
• Have a picnic with your friends
• Indulge in a hot bubble bath
• Read a good book
• Have a hot chocolate on a cold day
• Have an ice cream on a hot day
• Listen to the rain
• Dance in your room as you get ready for the day
• Go on holiday
• Go for a day trip
• Go on a road trip
• Light a scented candle
• Turn off your alarm clock
• Talk to someone you love
• Have a good stretch
• Paint your nails
• Apply a face mask
• Use a colouring book
• Binge watch a TV series
• Write someone a letter even if you don’t send it
• Hug someone
• Enjoy the little things

All About Bullet Journals

My bullet journal is my little book of everything. If you know me in real life, chances are you’ve heard me going on about this little book at one point or another. For those of you who don’t know what it is, a bullet journal is essentially a diary/to-do-list/organiser that is completely customisable to you. Many people, me included, have found it to be an absolute lifesaver.

Whether you’re a busy mother, a chaotic student, a global traveller, or simply someone who wants their life to be a bit more organised, the bullet journal will help to get things in order and keep you on track.

The most exciting thing about the bullet journal is that you can use it however you want. Some people like to cover their pages in beautiful colours and decorations while others prefer to keep their pages clean, filling their pages with tidy lists and no-fuss to-dos. Personally, I like to get creative with mine but that normally just means drawing a nice looking layout and adding a bit of colour.

I have found that the bullet journal works for me because it makes me want to keep using it. The freedom and creativity it allows me prevents me from getting bored or forgetting about it. I love creating the pages and writing about whatever I want. I love giving myself patterns to follow and not follow within my layouts. It's every organised and non-organised person's dream.

I’ll do my best to explain the system from the start but I recommend you take a look at the official bullet journal website if you want to get a better idea of the concept.

The Key

 

I started my bullet journal with a key which I use to help categorise and check off my to-do lists. As you can see in the picture, a square is a task to complete, a circle is an appointment to go to, a triangle is a university-related to-do, a star is social media related and a heart is friends and family related. If I complete the to-do, I put a cross in the shape. If I decide not to do it anymore, I put a line through it, and if I decide to do it on another day, I’ll put an arrow to indicate that I’ve forwarded it. A bullet point is for any notes I might want to jot down during the day.

It's up to you how you choose to customise your key, if you want to use one at all. I highly recommend you do because it really helps to keep you focused and organised.

Contents

One of the standout things about the bullet journal system is that you number the pages as you go and then log the pages on your contents/index page so that you can easily find it again in the future if you need to. When you start, you’ll want to leave a few blank pages to fill in later. I left five pages for my contents and I’m halfway through the fifth now so you might want to leave a few more. It’s just another simple method that adds to a more organised life.

Year Overview

After you’ve written out your key and left a few blank pages for your contents, it’s a good idea to create an overview of the year. This way, you can easily note down any future plans that you can then refer back to when you create that month’s spread.

Back in April when I started bullet journaling, I created a map of my goals for the year ahead. I decided to split my goals up into categories and it’s only been a few months but I’ve already accomplished most of them. Just the act of writing them down settled them in my mind and I’ve made a conscious effort ever since to do work towards them. Looking back now and seeing just how many of them I’ve done is so rewarding.

Month Overview

After your yearly overview, you might want to create monthly overviews. This is where you can map out your upcoming month in more detail. In April, my sister was due her baby girl so I decorated my April spread accordingly. I wrote the days down the left side then split each day into morning, afternoon and evening tasks. I also wrote a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the month.

Week Overview

The weekly overview goes into even more detail than the monthly overview. I like to make little lists of my goals for the week, projects that I’m working on, a few to-dos that I need to complete, and sleep trackers. On the next page, I map out my week and all of the tasks and appointments I have planned.

I’ve tried a lot of weekly spreads over the months, but when summer started and I didn’t have university to take over my life anymore, I found that I could ditch the daily spread all together and instead I migrated my daily to-dos into this weekly plan. When I go back to uni and have more to do again, I’ll go back to dailies but for now, this weekly spread is enough for me.

Dailies

When I was at uni, my bullet journal was an absolute lifesaver, mainly because of these daily spreads. I would draw my next day out every night before I went to bed, although as you can see here, I would sometimes accidentally skip a couple of days.

The timeline at the top of each day was a plan of how I wanted my day to go, then I would list everything I planned to do that day. I also drew a little box in which I wrote what I planned to make for dinner.

When you’ve got a lot to do or a lot on your mind, it’s so helpful to sit down and invest a little time in getting it down on paper. When it’s laid out in front of you, it will all look so much easier to accomplish. It will help you to set realistic goals for your day and your future, and more often than not, you will also find yourself achieving much more than you originally thought you could.

Other Pages

This page is my habit tracker for the month. As you can see, I’ve not been the most attentive with my good habits. I even missed out almost an entire week, but it gives me something to aim for, and I can see when I’m slacking and what I’m slacking in, and pick up from there.

I’ve tried doing weekly habit trackers on my weekly spread before, but I’ve found that I prefer the monthly version because there’s much more room to add to it if I want to start tracking something new. For example, this month, I’ve started working on the miracle morning routine (more on this in a future blog post), so I added that to my tracker.

The possibilities of the bullet journal are endless. You can use it however you want, for whatever you want. Everything is entirely customisable to you. If you find something isn't working, change it. If you find yourself needing something new, add it.

These are only a few of the pages in my journal. There’s so much more in there but the thing about bullet journals is that they’re immensely personal. I scribble my entire life into mine. However, there are so many sources of inspiration for the bullet journal all over the internet. I’m part of the Bullet Journal Junkies group of Facebook, which is a constant source of inspiration where hundreds of very talented and organised people share their thoughts and pictures of bullet journals every day. Also one of my favourite ways to spend free time is to scroll through Instagram and Pinterest, where so many photos of beautiful bullet journal pages are posted. There are lots of YouTube videos about them, too. One of my favourite bullet journalists on the internet – and an inspirer to hundreds of other dedicated bullet journalists – is Kara from Boho Berry. I highly recommend that you take a look at her blog if you want to know more about them.

Some lovely, talented bullet journalists have allowed me to share with you some photos of their own bullet journal spreads. If you want to see more of their stuff, follow the links to their pages. I hope this blog post has inspired you in some way. Would you like to start a bullet journal? Or if you already have one, how do you customise it to suit you? Let me know in the comments; I’d love to have a chat about it.

Photo by @annaslettering on Instagram.

Photo by @nittany_bujo on Instagram.

Photo by @painted_illustrated on Instagram.

Photo by @thepinktravellerblog on Instagram.

Book Review - Fairest by Marissa Meyer

There is nothing more terrifying than a character who can justify their evil deeds. Queen Levana is just one of those especially terrifying villains. Just by seeing her ghostly veiled face within the mirror frame on the cover of ‘Fairest’, you know that there are going to be some atrocities committed by this character within the book’s pages. And you would not be wrong.

This novella was published before the final book of The Lunar Chronicles, and it tells the backstory of the series’ main antagonist. It definitely did not disappoint; I devoured it in the course of only a few days. Even though her story is told vaguely through the main series, the series of events leading up to the start of Cinder feel fresh and unique as they are told from the villain’s point of view.

I forget from where it comes, but there is a saying that goes something like ‘The evil queen is just the princess who was never saved’, and I think that Queen Levana is the personification of this saying. In a scene reminiscent of the Hound from Game of Thrones, Levana was disfigured by her sister as a child, leaving her lonely and petrified of being laughed at, so she uses a glamour to hide her true appearance and appear beautiful to everyone who lays eyes on her.

Fairest is essentially the story of what happens when the prince doesn’t love the princess back. All of the books in the series (Cinder, Scarlet, Cress and Winter) reflect a fairy tale and they remain true to them in that they are full of true love and happily ever afters, whereas this story shows the other side of love. Levana’s love for her husband is selfish and obsessive as she tries desperately to pretend that he loves her back.

I find it interesting that in most stories, the hero has a fatal flaw that they learn to conquer in the end, bringing about their happily ever after. For Levana, it is the other way around. When she finally conquers her selfish fatal flaw in the name of saving her kingdom, her story ends in tragedy, setting up the events of The Lunar Chronicles.

I really enjoyed this story. Marissa Meyer has quickly become one of my favourite authors. I love the way that she twists popular fairy tales into her own stories. The world of The Lunar Chronicles has been completely brought to life and I simultaneously want to be part of it and stay well away from Levana and all of her evil tyranny. I am currently reading Stars Above on my kindle, which is a collection of short stories showing bits of backstory from all of the supporting characters of the series, and I hope to read ‘Heartless’, Meyer’s new book, soon, which I believe is based on the backstory of the Queen of Hearts.

Have you read The Lunar Chronicles, and if you have, what did you think of it? If you haven’t read it yet, what are you currently reading? Let me know in the comments.

May Favourites

May has been one crazy, exhausting, exciting month. From mountains of coursework, to the Merrowdown awards, and finally finishing my first year of university, I’m both relieved and sad that May is over. So I thought, as a way of looking back over some of my best bits, I would write a post on some of my favourite things from the month. Let me know what some of your favourite things of the month have been at the end.

Pandora

Of course, my number one favourite for the month of May is my niece, Pandora. Pan was born on 20^th April 2016 and although she lives over two hours away from me, I’ve been lucky enough to meet her twice so far. Once a week after she was born and again last weekend. It was amazing to see how much she’s grown during that time.

She’s such a strong and clever little baby, pulling herself around and looking at everything and everyone with such curiosity. She has the most beautiful blue eyes and it’s lovely to see them taking every detail of the world in. She’ll be walking and talking soon, and then Emma and Chris will have a real life actual little person on their hands!

Outlining Your Novel by K.M. Weiland

If anyone has ever wanted to write a book or has a little story idea itching at the back of their mind, this book will be your lifesaver. It takes you through all of the planning stages from one tiny idea to a fully planned outline that will go on to take you on your book-writing journey.

I loved this book because 1) reading about writing is one of my favourite things to do, and 2) planning the story is my favourite part. I must have planned hundreds of stories in my life so far, and if I can ever get my hands on new methods of doing that, and then actually want to carry the plan on into a real book afterwards, I will be all for it.

I love that at the end of every chapter, there’s a little checklist so that you can make sure you’ve followed all of the steps and it makes it that little bit easier to work on your plan step-by-step with the book. I highly recommend this to any writer, whether you’re a plotter or a “pantser”.

Book Mug

I bought this gorgeous mug on a spontaneous trip to Waterstones when I was still living at university. I literally stood at this one shelf for a good ten minutes just staring at all of the beautiful bookish items that were for sale. I think that if I could spend my life anywhere in the world, Waterstones would be very high on that list. Waterstones and St. Ives are my happy places.

I knew I had to buy this mug as soon as I saw it. It’s covered in a pattern of books and books and more books, featuring classics both traditional and contemporary, from Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations and Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, to The Tiger Who Came to Tea and a little peek of what can only be Harry Potter. I want to drink out of this mug with every cup of tea I ever have (which is many), and you can expect it to be in as many of my book photos as I can possibly fit it in.

Kindle

I rediscovered my kindle over Easter, after putting it to the side for about a year, and I’ve been obsessed with it over the past month. It’s just so easy to get the book you want on there. For example, the day A Court of Mist and Fury by S.J. Maas came out, I knew had to read it right there and then so instead of waiting for the right time to trudge all the way out to my nearest bookshop, I just tapped a few times on my screen and lo and behold! I had the book right there in my hands.

It's not just books either. My kindle has reunited me with some of the apps and games that I used to be obsessed with but put to the side for university. While this might not be such a good thing for my productivity, I've got Farmville back so I don't care!

Sims 4

Talking of ways to kill productivity, this is by far my favourite method. I have been playing Sims 4 almost religiously over the last few weeks. I don’t know what it is about it that gets me, but it seems to hook its fingers around me and I get lost in that virtual world for hours. It’s like a kind of dolls house where the dolls can go out and explore the world and do whatever you’ve always wanted to do but are too lazy to try. It’s great. Instead of doing things yourself, you can just make your sims do it.

I’m a little obsessed.

Sound of Silence by Disturbed

I found this song on Spotify and it was only after I’d listened to it five times in a row and told all my family about it that I learned it was actually a cover of a very popular song by Simon & Garfunkel. But even after listening to the original – and I’m sorry to any original purists out there – I just love the cover so much more.

There’s something about it that grabs me. It’s so epic and passionate, it makes me think of a pivotal moment in some fantasy film where the hero suddenly realises he has the support of millions behind him and prepares for battle. I can listen to this song so many times in a row and not get bored.

Merrowdown Family

And finally, I couldn’t write about this month without mentioning my uni family. I wrote about this before but I’ve had such a great year thanks to these guys, so they’ve all got a spot on my May favourites.

 ***

That’s about it for this month, but this has been fun to write so I think I’ll do this again next month. What are some of your favourite things this month? I’d love to hear from you.

Endings & New Beginnings

I can’t believe I’ve finished my first year of university already. What a crazy, fun, life-changing year it’s been! And I’ll get to do it all over again for the next three years. It’s so strange to think that this time last year I was suffering through all of my A-Level exams, waiting for them to be over so I could relax and enjoy the summer. At that point, I was pretty determined not to go to university but thank god I had a last minute change of heart, or I wouldn’t be the happier, more confident person I am today.

In September, I made a huge leap along with thousands of other first year students and moved halfway across the country into a city I’d never been before and started university. I immediately loved my course. TV Production was everything I’d hoped it would be and everyone I met on the course was lovely. I got on with the people I lived with and everything was great. Like most students, I was often struck with homesickness but I had my new friends to help me and I got through it. However, although I was quickly learning independence, I still stayed hidden deep within my shell and preferred to spend my nights alone in my room with a cup of tea and a good book, while everyone else in the flat went out partying.

It was only in November, when I moved into a different halls of residence called Merrowdown, that I really came out of my shell and became myself. And it wasn’t a slow, reluctant crawl out of my shell, either; it was a giant, out-of-nowhere leap into the open air. My very first day in Merrowdown, I made a huge effort to talk to everyone and have some fun rather than keep to myself, and that was the best decision that I’ve made all year. If I hadn’t done that – if I hadn’t made an effort to meet these guys – I wouldn’t have the amazing friends that I have now. I don’t think I would have even made it through the year without them.

When I returned to uni after Christmas and my trip to Disneyland, things became more difficult for a while. One of my closest friends in Merrowdown left uni which affected me a lot, and my mum later became ill. These things, along with the fact that my motivation for my course suddenly dropped from 100 to about 7, made coping with uni life much harder than it had been before. I’d had a history of depression before, and it hit me hard in February and March. This was the point when I might have dropped out if it hadn’t been for my brilliant friends who pulled me through.

As things have a habit of doing, however, it all got better. I’m still in contact with my friend who left, my mum’s getting better, and I made a huge decision that got me through the stressful last months of coursework. I decided to change course. Although I love everyone in TVP, the TV industry is not necessarily where I want to end up and therefore the course just wasn’t for me. Instead, in September, I’ll be starting a Creative Writing degree, so I’ll get to spend all day every day writing stories, poems and scripts. Sounds like heaven!

Now, as I’m writing this, I’m back at home having finished my first year of university. It was sad to leave Merrowdown but I know that we’ll see each other again in September and keep having as much fun as we’ve had all this year. I can’t thank these guys enough for being there for me. Every single person in that house has helped me in some way and I’m beyond grateful for that. From hugging me when I’m upset and carrying me downstairs when I passed out, to giving me words of encouragement when I needed them and posting train tickets to my house when I accidentally sent them to Merrowdown and then left for Easter. Everyone in Merrowdown is incredible.

But even though it’s sad to say goodbye to the house, next year will be even more fun. I’ll be living with three other girls in student housing where there will be Netflix nights and baking days every week. I’m so excited for what’s to come in September. I can’t wait!

2016 So Far

Hello! Notice anything different? If you’re an old follower of My Sleepy Fairytale, you may have noticed that my blog’s design has changed. This is because I’ve moved it over from Wordpress to Blogger. If you’re new to my site, then welcome! Take a look around – I even have a little About Me page.

My main reason for moving was simply that I felt there wasn’t much room exploration or design on the free Wordpress site, whereas Blogger has a lot more exciting features for me to play with. Hopefully, we’ll be able to go on a big Blogger adventure together and discover all of the exciting nooks and crannies of the site. Who knows where we’ll end up?

I’m afraid this post may be a bit of a rollercoaster as my aim is to explain where I’ve been (or where my head has been) for the last few months. It has been crazy. Coming into 2016, I expected the year to be all smooth and sparkles but I was being a bit naïve. Of course, there have been plenty of lovely, sparkly moments in the months, but there have also been a few horrible, gloomy ones, too. I don’t want to make you sad so I won’t dwell on them, but just to make you aware, this is what has been happening in my life…

Back in February, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. Don’t worry, she’s doing absolutely amazingly! The chemotherapy is working and everything is going the way it should be, but it has sometimes been difficult. She’s giving that monster one hell of a fight, and she’ll be perfectly healthy again in no time.

We’ve had to give up a few family things like a holiday to the seaside and a theatre trip, but they’re barely sacrifices when we know that mum is getting better and better with every treatment. Cancer’s a bitch but we’re going to win.

However, despite this horrible thing happening to our family, there has also been a huge, amazing, beautiful thing happen to us, too.

My sister had a baby! Pandora Lily Emmans was born on 20^th April, and she is the most beautiful little creature I have ever met. The moment I woke up that morning and found my phone flooded with photos of the new member of our family, there were many happy tears. I absolutely love her. I got to meet her a couple of weeks ago and just wanted to cuddle her all day.

I am going to make it a personal mission to be the best aunt in the world. Even though she lives two hours away, I’m always going to be there for her and love her with all my heart. She is like a little miracle sent to remind us all of the beauty and innocence in the world, and to remind us to smile. Because you can’t not smile when you’re snuggling this little panda.

Currently, I am in the middle of the final rush of coursework at university, and I can’t wait to get it all handed in and go home. Although it will mean leaving my halls of residence and Uni Family, I think I am ready for a good, long, relaxing break. There will be many tears shed on move out day, but I’ll see everyone again in September.

What about you? How has your 2016 been so far? I’d love to hear from you. Let’s chat!

Love from Beth J x

Book Review - Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern

This was originally posted on my former blog, mysleepyfairytale.wordpress.com on 30th March, 2016.

Where Rainbows End, or Love, Rosie, as it is more popularly known is one of the sweetest, most heart-warming books that I have ever read. Upon finishing it last night, well into the early hours of the morning with the heavy weight of sleepiness settling over me, I found myself turning the final page with a warm feeling in my chest and a smile on my face. If the aim of this story is to encompass the feeling of falling in love, then I think it succeeded.

Back in January, I watched the film Love, Rosie, on one of those rare quiet nights in at university when I felt like I needed a good rom-com in my life. I loved it immediately. The characters, the story, the soundtrack, the imagery, and the general feeling of the film was me all over. And when I found out that it was based on a book, I knew that I had to read it. I bought it the next day.

Where Rainbows End is, however, very different from the film. Although the characters, concept and heart of the story remain the same, there are several big differences. Personally, I found that this did not detract from either of them, but instead gave me more to look forward to as I was reading the book without knowing exactly what was going to happen next.

The book is about best friends, Rosie and Alex, who grow-up together but circumstances cause them to suddenly live on different sides of the world. The book follows them through their lives as they remain in contact, struggling to both fight off and come to terms with their feelings for each other. But life is never as simple as that and sometimes reaching a happily ever after takes a fair bit of time and effort.

The most unique thing about this book is that it is written in the form of lots of different documents – letters, emails, chat-room messages, newspaper clippings, and even a couple of obituaries. By writing in this unconventional prose, Cecelia Ahern has perfectly encapsulated a sense of life that many books fail to do. As we read from the points of view of different characters, their believability is so strong that I almost feel like I really know them.

I also feel like this form lends itself perfectly to the romance genre. There is a romanticism to letters that is often forgotten nowadays, and if this book had failed at everything else, the one thing that it has definitely done for me is give me a new goal of writing more letters. As we rifle through Rosie’s assortment of lifelong documents, we explore the journey of the characters’ lives in a new and revealing way.

So many themes are explored in this book, but some of the ones that stood out to me were love in every form – family, friendship and romantic – following your dreams, and the circle of life. All of the characters strive to achieve their personal goals in life, and I feel that this adds a whole other dimension to the story, making it more than just your typical romance novel.

One of my favourite concepts of the book is the use of mirroring between the generations. Rosie is best friends with Alex, and her daughter, Katie, is best friends with Toby. Alex dreams of becoming a doctor and Toby dreams of becoming a dentist. And both pairs struggle to realise their true feelings for each other. I thought that this was a very clever way of encouraging Rosie to act on her feelings, as she did not want her daughter to make the same mistakes that she did.

I also found that the timeline of the story was important. Unlike in the film where Rosie and Alex reach their mid-thirties, in the book they go all the way to fifty without recognising their feelings for each other. There is something so poignant about the thought of going half a lifetime without finding your soulmate. This may be just because I am used to reading stories where the characters are much younger at the point of their happily ever after. However, I believe that the concept of finding love at fifty is important. It reflects reality in that sometimes it does take a long time, but the end isn’t what is important; it’s the getting there that matters. All of the characters lead full lives and their years do not go to waste.

But their romance is pretty important too.

I’m so pleased that I found this book. It is bursting with all of the happiness and heartbreak of life, stitched together in a unique way that tells a beautiful, poignant story of true love. I highly recommend it to everyone who loves a good rom-com or chick flick, or who just needs a little bit of love in their lives. Where Rainbows End is practically the definition of the word ‘love’.

And if you don’t feel like reading, then at least watch the film. For Sam Claflin, if nothing else.

Star Rating: 4/5

Author: Cecelia Ahern
Publisher: Harper Collins
Year of First Publication: 2004

Let's Never Grow Up

This was originally posted on my former blog, mysleepyfairytale.wordpress.com on 7th January, 2016.

This year, I turn twenty. That is so strange to me. Twenty seems like it should be some kind of cut-off point. You’re no longer a teenager at twenty. It’s the age when you’re expected to start putting your teenage tendencies behind you and try to act like an adult. Legally in the UK, you become an adult at eighteen, although most of us seem to think that we’re adults on our sixteenth birthdays. The truth is, we’re not. We’re only pretending.

At nineteen, we’re more like adults-in-training than real, proper, responsibility-having adults. I mean, yes, we have responsibilities but everything that we need to worry about is still way ahead in the future. We’re only tasting freedom. Especially us students – it’s all just practise. All of the Big Things – getting our own house, having a career, kids, marriage – for most of us, are things that might happen eventually but not right now, so we don’t have to think about it. Some of us might have our own houses already. A lot of us have jobs, and most people will be at least thinking about what career they want to work in. Some nineteen year olds might even have kids or be married, or both, but in my experience for the most part, we’re still only practising.

Some people disagree. When I’ve voiced this opinion before, I’ve been told firmly that no, I am definitely an adult, there’s no getting away from it. Yes. Legally, I am definitely, absolutely, no question about it, an adult. But I don’t feel like one, and I don’t think I will for a long time yet. I’m still learning. I’m still figuring everything out. All of the things that people tell you your teenage years are for, I’m still working on now.

For example, I don’t know what I want to do in my future. I know that there are some things I want out of life, like a career that involves writing, and way, way in the future, I want to be a mum. But other than that, I don’t have a clue. I’m at university. I’m on a very industry-specific course. There are people who expect me to have chosen a path by now and be working on getting to my chosen destination, but I think I’d prefer to go on an adventure and explore all of the beautiful places I could go before I decide where to spend the rest of my life. There are so many options out there, and I change my mind all the time. I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of that. The only thing that’s been a constant love of mine forever is writing.

And I still don’t know who I am yet, but I don’t think anyone does, really. I know some things about myself but they are prone to change every now and then, and the person I thought I was yesterday might be a completely different person to who I feel like today. We might broadcast one or two versions of ourselves to the world, but we’re not that person all the time. We act different ways with different people. If you could see yourself with your friends, your family, and when you’re on your own, how do you know which version of you is the real you? They all are. We’re not just one person; we’re many. We’re all growing as people with every passing day, and we learn more and more about ourselves as the days go on.

As well as that, while all of the high-flying drama that seems to thrive in the air around teenagers might be over, my life is still riddled with worries and conflicts and problems, just like everyone’s. I’ve had my fair share of teenage drama in the past. My story is really not that different to everyone else’s, except that I went to a peculiar little school in the countryside where we had to do compulsory Eurythmy every week and participated in Michaelmas festivals where we dressed up as a dragon and pretend to be slain. But even then, I know at least nine other people who have those same tales to tell. (By the way, if you don’t know what Eurythmy is, it involves robes, cloth shoes, and gracefully waving your arms in the air as you float around the room. No, seriously.) I’m more than relieved that that period of my life, when every little thing was huge crisis and I was shrouded in a dangerous lack of self-confidence, is over. But even so, there have still been dramas in my life recently that make all of that angst look like nothing.

My point here is that while I might be leaving my teens behind at the end of this year, that doesn’t automatically make me an adult. I won’t suddenly start reading the newspaper every morning, fretting about bills, and tutting at childish things like believing in magic. The truth is, the news scares me and so does money, and I would happily believe in magic for the rest of my life if I could.
I think that we carry our teenage years with us through our entire lives. We might get to ninety and look at ourselves, and still find that struggling, confidence-lacking, angst-ridden version of ourselves shining through in some way. That’s not a bad thing. It just means that, even when we’re old and have seen everything there is to see, we’ll still be learning and growing every day.

I don’t know who I am. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t have a clue where all of those winding paths up ahead will lead me. And that’s great. I don’t want to.

Let’s just not grow up. Of course, let’s keep aging and experiencing and learning, but let’s just stay the same as we are right now – expectant and excited for things to come. Let’s remain wide-eyed and hopeful like children on Christmas Eve. Let’s keep having fun and finding sparkles in shadows, and never knowing what’s around the corner. Let’s live for now, like we did yesterday.

A Pretty Epic Year

This was originally posted on my former blog, mysleepyfairytale.wordpress.com on 31st December, 2015.

Goodbye 2015, what a crazy year you were! Although I haven't done a lot of blogging lately, a lot has happened in my life and I can happily say that I am leaving the year a completely different - and better - person than I entered it.

March - The Film Academy crew. See if you can spot me! (Thanks for that, Haider)

It's absolutely bonkers to me that this time last year, I was panicking about an A-Level drama performance that felt like it was going nowhere - but that I later passed with flying colours. Back then, I was just beginning to have doubts about the Creative Writing degree I'd applied for, and the BFI Film Academy course was creeping up on me with every passing day as I remained oblivious to just how life-changing it would be. I didn't know half the people I know now. Everything was scary and intimidating. I had no independence. I was a different person. Before, the world was too big for me but now I've grown to fit the world a little bit more.

April - Family trip (minus Tom) to Conwy Castle.

Last year, I made this post about my new year's resolutions. This year, I'm not making any resolutions because for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm completely happy with who I am. This is a huge deal for me. I've always been self-conscious, caring too much about trivial things like my weight and what people thought of me. Over summer, I lost a lot of weight but even if I put it all back on now, I'd still be happy, and I've realised that what people think of me really doesn't matter. I am happy with how I look and who I am.

September - The girls (minus Georgie) from my first flat during Freshers.

I think the main reason for this is university. To say that going to uni at all was a last minute decision is an understatement, and I truly believe that had I not gone, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I've only done one semester so far, but already uni has given me more opportunities and experiences than I could have imagined. Just surviving on my own has given me a huge confidence boost. When you're forced to be independent, you have to push your anxieties and fear aside and just go for it. And being thrust into a new city on the other side of the country where I know absolutely no one would have seemed like a nightmare to me last January - or even last August  - but now I could happily walk into a group of strangers and make friends. If I ever need to, that is.

November - Out with my new housemates on my birthday. Such a good night!

My last uni update was back in September, and even more things have changed since then. I moved into a different halls of residence. When I took the first accommodation, I was told that I had to find somewhere new by December as the international students would then move in. So, the race was on for us to find somewhere else to live. I literally couldn't have made a better decision when I chose this place. I don't know if any of my new housemates will read this but there's a good chance they will so I won't make this too soppy. I'll just say that from the moment I first set foot in this place, they welcomed me like family and I'm so glad I know them now. I'll also say that before I moved in, I barely drank any alcohol. Now, thanks to them, I can probably be found lying on the stairs most Wednesday nights. Thanks a lot, guys.

December - the Morledge family takeover at Disneyland.

Of course, the year hasn't been all smiles, laughter and drunk antics. My final few months of college brought me a whole lot of stress and anxiety, and there was the terrifying few weeks at the beginning of summer when I passed out in hospital and the doctor said I'd had a seizure. But hey, if you're gonna have a seizure anywhere, a hospital is probably the best place to have it! Even if it was the night before one of my exams. The beginning of uni was a difficult time too, when I wasn't sure of anything, didn't know anyone and missed home like hell. But clearly, as things have a tendency of doing, everything turned out alright.

And there are even more things to look forward to in 2016. First and foremost, my beautiful older sister is having a baby. We're all so excited and I can't wait to meet my little niece in April. Our family is going to make her the most loved little girl in the world. As well as that, we're also going on holiday In the summer, straight off the back of this Christmas's Disneyland trip, which is a whole other blog post in itself. And, of course, there's Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them coming out in November. It's all a Harry Potter fangirl can do to stay sane for so long. Well, as sane as I already am, at least.

Christmas day 2015. Surrounded by family and full of food.

All in all, 2015 has been a pretty epic year for me, and I hope it's been just as brilliant for you. I am so grateful to my family and friends - old and new - for being there for me when I needed you. Thank you to all of my housemates and coursemates. All of you are fantastic.

Happy New Year!